A Quick and Easy Recipe for a State of the Union Speech
Combine equal parts political bromides, patriotic platitudes, and stilted delivery. In a separate bowl, toss unworkable sound-bite solutions at straw-man problems (Don't forget to characterize valid concerns and/or compromise proposals as traitorous betrayals of our freedoms/way of life/national security). Cut in heaping portions of smug self-satisfaction while continuously stirring over minimal reflective analysis. Focus group heavily until creamy and golden brown.
If desired, add wide-eyed oxymorons to taste (zero emissions coal burning, clean safe nuclear power, extraterrestrial perpetual-motion machines) and top with one or more audacious statements that are simply breathtaking in their willful and deliberate denial of reality (e.g., an "...ideological conflict we did nothing to invite."). Caution: Those familiar with Middle Eastern cuisine may find these extremely difficult to swallow.
Let simmer for 51 minutes and 7 seconds (Be sure to sprinkle liberally with 61 applause breaks/standing ovations).
Proclaim, "God Bless America!” and remove promptly from the podium. Chill while shaking hands and signing autographs.
Makes up to 298,014,857 servings.
So what did I really think of the speech? My highlights:
Suspected thought behind Cheney's ever-present smirk - "Utinam populus Romanus unam cervicem haberet!".
Best moment for the Democrats - Democratic cheer and standing ovation in response to Bush's statement that Congress did not see fit to approve his efforts at social security "reform".
Most irritating Presidential perspective - 'No matter what our disagreements before, the situation now is such that you have to support whatever it is I'm doing.' (Paraphrased)
Oh Jesus, how perfectly maddening in its apparent rationality! And you've got to love the nimble release from any responsibility for fucking it up in the first place. He appears heavily invested in this one. In fact, almost all of the assembled Republican leaders are probably heavy drinkers of this particular Kool Aid. No big surprise - It's like a drug they desperately need to hang on to a fading myth that, once completely gone, will leave them face to face with the true extent of their own self-deception and culpability.
In summary it was partly the sheer number of breezily contradictory statements and partly the fundamental disconnect between his stated goals and the actual effects of his proposed policies. But deep down (Is it just me?) it was his smirky delivery - a face that said he knew he was full of shit and could scarcely believe he was saying it with a straight face, much less that anyone was actually buying it. I hate to say it, but I can't help perceiving a barely concealed contempt for his followers, for their gullibility, for their naiveté.
The bottom line for me - as a window into the motives and rationale of this (or probably any) administration, performing an exacting line-by-line analysis of this type of manipulative propaganda seems a pointless waste of time (my sincere apologies to all working media pundits everywhere!). If you have neither the time nor the energy to research what this administration is really doing, you'd probably be better served by throwing chicken bones or reading goat entrails.
If desired, add wide-eyed oxymorons to taste (zero emissions coal burning, clean safe nuclear power, extraterrestrial perpetual-motion machines) and top with one or more audacious statements that are simply breathtaking in their willful and deliberate denial of reality (e.g., an "...ideological conflict we did nothing to invite."). Caution: Those familiar with Middle Eastern cuisine may find these extremely difficult to swallow.
Let simmer for 51 minutes and 7 seconds (Be sure to sprinkle liberally with 61 applause breaks/standing ovations).
Proclaim, "God Bless America!” and remove promptly from the podium. Chill while shaking hands and signing autographs.
Makes up to 298,014,857 servings.
So what did I really think of the speech? My highlights:
Suspected thought behind Cheney's ever-present smirk - "Utinam populus Romanus unam cervicem haberet!".
Best moment for the Democrats - Democratic cheer and standing ovation in response to Bush's statement that Congress did not see fit to approve his efforts at social security "reform".
Most irritating Presidential perspective - 'No matter what our disagreements before, the situation now is such that you have to support whatever it is I'm doing.' (Paraphrased)
Oh Jesus, how perfectly maddening in its apparent rationality! And you've got to love the nimble release from any responsibility for fucking it up in the first place. He appears heavily invested in this one. In fact, almost all of the assembled Republican leaders are probably heavy drinkers of this particular Kool Aid. No big surprise - It's like a drug they desperately need to hang on to a fading myth that, once completely gone, will leave them face to face with the true extent of their own self-deception and culpability.
In summary it was partly the sheer number of breezily contradictory statements and partly the fundamental disconnect between his stated goals and the actual effects of his proposed policies. But deep down (Is it just me?) it was his smirky delivery - a face that said he knew he was full of shit and could scarcely believe he was saying it with a straight face, much less that anyone was actually buying it. I hate to say it, but I can't help perceiving a barely concealed contempt for his followers, for their gullibility, for their naiveté.
The bottom line for me - as a window into the motives and rationale of this (or probably any) administration, performing an exacting line-by-line analysis of this type of manipulative propaganda seems a pointless waste of time (my sincere apologies to all working media pundits everywhere!). If you have neither the time nor the energy to research what this administration is really doing, you'd probably be better served by throwing chicken bones or reading goat entrails.
posted by Leroy Loutre at 10:30 PM
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